I recently watched an Oprah episode (I sometimes feel Oprah is my own personal therapist) that has me thinking a lot about WHY I have such a convuluted relationship with food. The episode focused on three people with different but life threatening behaviors who all got help after having an intervention (as part of the TV show Intervention).
The first man was "eating himself to death." After his intervention, he began to work on his behavior and lost more than half of himself (he was well over 500 pounds to start). As part of his two year plus journey to lose weight he discovered he was eating to cover up the secret that he was gay. Another young man was addicted to heroin and coke and after his intervention and through his journey to become clean and sober he realized and expressed the guilt he was covering up for being one of the jocks that bullied and were so hated by the Columbine killers.
I believe getting to the underlying reasons for my screwed up relationship with food is absolutely key to success. My own whys seem less clear than those individuals on Oprah. Although I know loneliness is a big part of it. Friday night(s) I often have a pity party and feel I "deserve" snacks and sweets since I'm sitting home alone. Friday is the night to go out. To spend time with loved ones. I know food provides a substitute. Of course, I haven't always been so acutely aware of my loneliness. So this may be the why for now. On the flip side, when I do have Friday night plans, it's a reason to celebrate with alcohol and good food. Sheesh ... maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to treat myself. But why?!
Beyond the loneliness, I have to wonder if there's a more fundamental reason - like the guilt or sexuality of those on Oprah - for me overeating.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been much better food-wise, but worse exercise-wise. My current goal is to put the two healthy habits -- food and exercise -- together! I'm trying to work on changing my mindset to go to the gym or to take a walk when I feel lonely. Exercise - like food - always makes me feel better. And the feeling isn't as fleeting or accompanied by guilt like my pity party food.
Journey to a Healthy Weight
2 comments:
Having just gone through months of intense soul searching, I am absolutely convinced that our choices are governed by some deep-seated subconscious beliefs about ourselves, often from our formative years. Searching the soul is painful, and there were days that I was paralyzed with grief, but eventually, if you really want to get better, you get through them and you can start replacing those old ideas with new ones. It's hard work and it takes time, but it makes a huge difference.
I saw the same episode of Oprah. It definitely prompted self-reflection. I'm just so sick and tired of talking about my weight and food and exercise and water and blah,blah,blah. Why can't researchers develop a magic diet pill? Why does it have to be soooo hard!
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